"Wife-Speak"
Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2016 3:18 pm
I wrote this a few days ago but was not sure if/where to post it. But now that my sense of humor has been questioned, well I might as well live dangerously. I’ve been married for 33 years so I’m pretty familiar with Wife-Speak. Not sure what that is? Let me give you a few example, and their Plain English translations.
“Wife-Speak” ====> “Plain English”
“Do you want to go out for breakfast, honey?” ====> “I want to go out to breakfast and you’re coming with me.”
“We need to do something about that stopped-up drain.” ====> “Fix the drain.”
“I don’t care. Do whatever you think is right.” ====> “Don’t screw this one up like you did last time.”
“The grass is getting pretty tall.” ====> “Cut the grass.”
“Just a minute….” ====> “Go grab a magazine.”
“I am NOT over-reacting.” ====> “I’m having my period.”
“I’ll be ready in ten minutes” ====> “Go find a book.”
“Did you have to say it quite like that?” ====> “You’re such an asshole.”
“We need to go on a vacation.”====> “Plan a vacation.”
“Yes honey.” ====> “Maybe.”
We need new countertops.” ====> “We need a new kitchen.”
Especially you fellas, you should now be better equipped to understand Wife-Speak.
OK maybe I don’t have a sense of humor….
PS Don’t tell you-know-who I posted this….
“Wife-Speak” ====> “Plain English”
“Do you want to go out for breakfast, honey?” ====> “I want to go out to breakfast and you’re coming with me.”
“We need to do something about that stopped-up drain.” ====> “Fix the drain.”
“I don’t care. Do whatever you think is right.” ====> “Don’t screw this one up like you did last time.”
“The grass is getting pretty tall.” ====> “Cut the grass.”
“Just a minute….” ====> “Go grab a magazine.”
“I am NOT over-reacting.” ====> “I’m having my period.”
“I’ll be ready in ten minutes” ====> “Go find a book.”
“Did you have to say it quite like that?” ====> “You’re such an asshole.”
“We need to go on a vacation.”====> “Plan a vacation.”
“Yes honey.” ====> “Maybe.”
We need new countertops.” ====> “We need a new kitchen.”
Especially you fellas, you should now be better equipped to understand Wife-Speak.
OK maybe I don’t have a sense of humor….
PS Don’t tell you-know-who I posted this….