Heather
3 years ago, long before Lakewood had been dubbed, "The Paris of Cleveland's Inner Ring Suburbs,
sm" some of us were sitting at Sinagra Park noticing them putting up the scrolling ticker at First Federal of Lakewood.
Someone commented that that sure made Lakewood seem more metropolitan and "big cityesque" and that we should look to other ways to celebrate the season.
One idea was to drop a tin foil ball from the Detroit Cook Arts Building, home of Observer, Inc.. Now we realized that we could never compete with New York (the Big Apple) nor even Cleveland (a Plum), but with the right amount of tin foil and laser pointers we could still make a statement, that would be warm, friendly and newsworthy.
So a small group got together night after night planning the celebration. Steve would comment, "Maybe we could use three rolls of foil..." another would say, "What about three-and-a-half..." and on and on. When we finally finished the dream, we realized that with help, we could make a tin foil ball out of almost ten rolls, and that would not just be a great statement of the state of Lakewood but give us room to grow into ten full rolls, or maybe even eleven.
As we were getting ready to call it a night, Mark Timieski, said, "Why not put a monkey with cymbals on the top?" He then pointed out that outside of the drunk bartender toy, the next most loved is certainly "Jolly, the monkey with cymbals."
As Mark is an engineer, he was sure that he could figure out a way to mount the monkey onto the reflecting surface of the tin foil ball. As is the Observer way, Mark took ownership of this end of the project and started on it with full support. After a couple days he asked the group, "What about sky rockets and fire shooting out of the monkey. Well to be honest the thought took the breath away of everyone in the room, and we started to cheer.
As the magic night drew near, we proceeded to cut the padlock to Rozi's roof. We started to load up the tin foil ball, whew! and the cast of characters to launch the ball from a pocket fisherman we had secured through a Christmas ad on TV.
The nearly ten rolls of foil was far heavier than we every thought, but our new blue pocket fisherman was up to the task as was the fishing line that came with it. I think Ryan Costa could probably add something to the value and good construction of the Ronco Pocket Fisherman®. As a test we held the tin foil ball aloft in the air and hit it with a couple laser pointers. Honestly we were a tad disappointed that the reflection was not nearly enough to blind people, or even be seen from space, what along compete with
the ball at Times Square.
At that point Steve Davis an aficionado of back yard barbecues and burning chocolate homes said, "Lighter Fluid or White Gas." We all nodded and smiled. For the honor of the city, we would carry gallons of white gas to the roof of the Detroit Cook Arts Building, soak the foil ball in it and light it. To be honest we never even considered the fishing line, as you will read later. So while we were waiting for Mark and Jolly the chimp we let it soak, and to be honest we started to soak up some of Rozi's finest vintages. One thing lead to another until we were pretty well feeling no pain when Mark showed up with a cloth bag that was moving.
As the magic hour approached we turned to Mark and asked if he was ready, and he said he was but there were some small problems that he corrected at the last second. So as one person got strapped into the fighting chair that had been secured to the roof with bolts, and handed the pocket fisherman, Steve got ready to light the white gas soaked ball, and I readied to push it over the edge so that the crowd of tens of ones sitting over in Sinagra Park could enjoy.
Suddenly Mark pulled a live monkey out of the bag, mumbling about the logisitics of creating Jolly with fire and rockets, and said, "I think a live monkey would be better anyway." Well Mark never realized we had soaked the ball in white gas, because we never thought, he would bring a real monkey. What alone a monkey that needed to be returned to his friend! So while I was distracted, Mark tied the monkey to the ball I was holding, and telling everyone to hurry it was Midnight! As I turned and saw the little monkey fighting to get off the gas covered ball I jumped and that pushed the ball over to Steve's torch, and the entire thing went up in flame. Ball, monkey, fishing line everything. Burning my hands, and I let go.
Over the ball went and in seconds crashed to the ground as the fishing line had melted. The bad news is, the spectacle only lasted seconds, not minutes. The good news is the monkey only suffered for a short time before being crushed under the weight of a aluminum foil ball made up of nearly ten rolls. It was not really the way any of us wanted to celebrate the New Year, and to be honest Mark was more than a little upset, wondering what he would tell his friend about the monkey.
As we all stood on the roof of Rozi's in shock, looking over the edge, down at the fiery mess. All of a sudden we heard one person cheer then clap, then another, and another soon all 23 people were applauding and clapping, blowing whistles and those hand crank things. Couples, well both of them kissed in the light of the fire, and other shook hands that this was certainly some sort of signal for a good year.
Those of us on the roof settled down and started to congratulate each other on a job well done, and for kicking off the New Year on such a positive note. Over the course of the next year it was decided that we would try to get our monkey from a lab that had put them through a terrible life, so that while bringing in the New Year, we could free a monkey from the terrible life he was suffering. As I mentioned earlier, we never thought that these test monkeys could be so nasty.
So as you can see, we started a great Lakewood New Year's tradition, and found a great way to recycle tortured monkeys.
Something I am sure you can understand and be very proud of.
We should all recycle when we can, especially to serve a higher cause.
Well that is the short story.
peace
happy new years.
.
