Rules of Engagement on Deck

[Jill Jusko]

In life it takes no dedication at all to meet a person, shake hands, introduce yourself, and discuss business, life, whatever. For some reason in the world of cyber space it seems a little harder to get the commitment.

Merely thing we have noticed, what it means who knows?

As long as I'm weighing in....I don't think it is cyber space that is impacting commitment, I think it is the written word. When you speak with someone face to face, you can easily amend or modify or add to your comments if they are misconstrued or if you didn't state them as clearly as you wish you had. That same immediacy doesn't exist online. Yes, you can go and clarify or amend or whatever, but in many cases there's already a string of unintended consequences along the way.

I don't know that there is an answer to that.

[Steve Hoffert]

As long as I'm weighing in....I don't think it is cyber space that is impacting commitment, I think it is the written word. When you speak with someone face to face, you can easily amend or modify or add to your comments if they are misconstrued or if you didn't state them as clearly as you wish you had. That same immediacy doesn't exist online. Yes, you can go and clarify or amend or whatever, but in many cases there's already a string of unintended consequences along the way.

I don't know that there is an answer to that.

Another factor is the anonymity that cyberspace provides. As an empathic person, reading posts gives me little or no concrete emotional evidence of what the person truly feels. Although there appears to be different states of emotion and agitation exhibited in each post, many may find it hard to determine if they are real or feigned. Many people derive pleasure from merely agitating others and take the other side in order to get another off balance.

When one is in close proximity to another it is relatively easy to determine whether a person is lying or playing you.

I know people who are driven absolutely nuts by certain posters. The same poster doesn't bother me one bit because it's obvious these posts are meant to incite these feelings regardless of the posters view.

Other posters can't even hide their degradation of another behind a convolution of words that would make an English major's ears ring.

Others are apologetic or plant tulips on the posterior of most everyone. Are they sincere? You're guess is as good as mine until I meet this person and determine this for myself.

Because staring at a two dimensional screen leaves us devoid of any of the subtle emotional inputs we all take for granted in a face to face conversation, we compensate.

When this happens subconsciously our emotions begin to play tricks on us, amplifying our feelings until they burst like a failed emotional levy.

When this happens consciously we realize that this whole thing is a sick and twisted substitute for real interpersonal communication.



With that being said..... (Warning Graphic Content Follows)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npCYO0lKwI8

[Stephen Eisel]

Ultimately, it is up to the individual on how he or she will react to a post.

[Amy Bennett]

While I agree that as an adult of sound mind I can choose how I respond to a poster, I don't think it is that simple. As many have mentioned, this is a decontextualized form of communication where words can be misinterpreted very easily. In addition, what we discuss here is obviously very public. That said, it is a risky thing to simply post.

For the most part, I feel this is a safe place to share my ideas but sometimes while reading, I feel that boundaries have been grossly intruded upon. I don't have any answers, just a string of thoughts.

[Jim O'Bryan]

Amy

I understand the anxieties you are speaking of. I fully understand the two edge sword of public discourse.


Jill

The single biggest problems with email or forums, emotional inflections, and time between responses. A single little joke, can turn into a war of words, in minutes, or months.

It would be easy to stay to the less passionate topics, gutters, lawn care, clouds, whatever. In this high strung society, even those topics, when discussed on the net have the potential for sharp attitudes and key strokes.

The three biggest passionate arguments on the net, with most vicious attacks would have to be MAC/PC, CART/IRL, and String/Membrane Theory. Go figure!

While one can speak of risks, the potential for benefit is pretty high.

[Grace O'Malley]

This board has almost 900 members. While only a small percentage have actually posted something, that does not lessen the value of the lurker or reader on this board.

Many people come here for info. They may not have the time or inclination to post, but they read and learn. They contribute by reading, learning, and then spreading knowledge gained here to other venues, mostly personal and informal.

The value of a board should not be measured solely by the number of active posters.


Edited to add: Oh my! I take the number back. The board has OVER 900 members, 913 to be exact. Last time I looked it was 894. That's remarkable.

[Stephen Eisel]

Many people come here for info.

I come here to be entertained

[dl meckes]

I have certainly held many beliefs about people until I actually met them, (the upcoming Observer Bowling Party is a good opportunity!) and then I completely changed my mind.

For instance, I decided one Observer columnist should live many happy, healthy, prosperous days in spite of unfortunate political beliefs after an Observer event. I began to read the column with a different mind-set and now enjoy it very much. I still disagree with nearly every opinion, but so what?

It's difficult to embrace diversity, particularly when all you have are words in [strikethrough]some net forum[/strikethrough] the best darn cyber back-yard around. It's a lot different when we can get together for a face-to-face and we can, in real time, experience that we're all good neighbors.

And if you haven't heard Gary's music or Mark and his wife, you ain't heard nothing!

[Bryan Schwegler]

I have certainly held many beliefs about people until I actually met them, (the upcoming Observer Bowling Party is a good opportunity!) and then I completely changed my mind.

For instance, I decided one Observer columnist should live many happy, healthy, prosperous days in spite of unfortunate political beliefs after an Observer event. I began to read the column with a different mind-set and now enjoy it very much. I still disagree with nearly every opinion, but so what?

It's difficult to embrace diversity, particularly when all you have are words in [strikethrough]some net forum[/strikethrough] the best darn cyber back-yard around. It's a lot different when we can get together for a face-to-face and we can, in real time, experience that we're all good neighbors.

And if you haven't heard Gary's music or Mark and his wife, you ain't heard nothing!

dl, I think that's am important point. Many of us don't know each other in person and quickly form opinions about people based on one of the least effective forms of communication....Internet postings or e-mail. It's amazing at times how different you can view someone after spending time with them in real life.

I've only met or know a few people from on here in real life. I'm hoping to attend the bowling party and meet a few more. And to be honest, I hope the people I meet the most are those who are either have a poor perception of me or vice versa...I want to be able to throw away my poorly conceived beliefs.

[dl meckes]

I hope the people I meet the most are those who are either have a poor perception of me or vice versa...I want to be able to throw away my poorly conceived beliefs.

I'm pretty sure that while cats and dogs can get along (at least for a while), no basic tenets will crumble. Folks just show up to have fun, hang out, and talk and laugh together. Some people come to find out more about contributing to the Observer project.

To my knowledge, no chairs have been thrown nor monkeys burned at any of these events.

Lurkers are welcome!

[Grace O'Malley]

Sometimes you don't even need to meet the poster in person to change your views.

There is one poster here who, IMO, posts some very strange comments. At some point, I realized that this person's sense of humor was very unique and different. When I viewed the posts from that different perspective, I realized what they were doing and it made me more willing to read the posts instead of ignore them. In fact, I often now find myself laughing at the posts and even appreciate the subtle wit.

So, while meeting a poster in person can definitely add to the overall perception, keeping an open mind when reading posts can also accomplish the same thing.

[David Lay]

I've only met or know a few people from on here in real life. I'm hoping to attend the bowling party and meet a few more. And to be honest, I hope the people I meet the most are those who are either have a poor perception of me or vice versa...I want to be able to throw away my poorly conceived beliefs.

Bryan, you're one of the people in this project that I've been dying to meet; you always have a lot of good things to say.

It will be great to finally associate a face with a name!

[John Guscott]

Grace - I agree with your 2 recent posts, 100%.

Lurkers here definitely have lots of value, but I do think it's great to read the posts from the "irregulars" often. I always appreciate reading a post from someone who has posted here only 5 or so times before, because you just know an issue or topic has irked them far enough to overcome whatever inertia that would have normally prevented them to voicing an opinion.

[Gary Rice]

The big question as to the LO bowling party on the 20th, is whether there will be any name tags for the participants to wear?

And, not the kind that fall off 30 seconds later.

[Jim O'Bryan]

The big question as to the LO bowling party on the 20th, is whether there will be any name tags for the participants to wear?

And, not the kind that fall off 30 seconds later.

yes



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