Jackie,
Mom was an Alabama gal, though born in Georgia, so I understand more about this than all these cotton thievin' Yankees do.
In fact, as recently as the days of Southern Rock, the Stars and Bars battle flag, (sometimes used by at least one integrated band!) draped stages, guitar amps, pickguards, and straps, and virtually no one was bothered by it.
I fondly remember Alabama too. I remember keeping the watermelons in the water at Little River Canyon as the mist settled between the cliff sides as we waited for the family reunion's pulled pork barbecue. I also remember the late sunrises coming over Lookout Mountain. (That actually kept the blistering sun at bay for an extra hour!) I remember that our Civil War relatives' Southern sandstone gravestones often featured pointed tops instead of being rounded off (like the Yankee graves were) so that the Yankee soldiers could not sit on them.
I remember Decoration Day, when the Southern cemeteries looked like advertisements for a greenhouse.
But all that said, I remember Birmingham, Anniston, the protests, the fire hoses. I WAS THERE TOO. There was indeed that other side...
I remember too how complicated it all was from a historical standpoint as well. The area of North Alabama and Georgia that my family hailed from were very Union sympathetic and anti-slavery, with at least one county that actually refused to join the Confederacy. That whole area actually planned to break away and form an independent Union state called Nickajak. None of that mattered however, when General Sherman's troops came through and laid waste to the land and burned the crops and left nothing to save.
The so-called Confederate battle flag, ironically, was NEVER an official Confederate flag.
It never flew from their government offices when the Confederacy claimed nationhood. It was in fact only one of many flags that were used by a specific Confederate Army. (The Army of Northern Virginia) It never flew for any purpose, other than being a military, and NOT a political flag. It was also the shroud of many fallen American Soldiers in that conflict.
It was only years later that the Stars and Bars was used by others to make a political statement. (including being a part of the state flags of many Southern states) The flag was taken from its original intention, and you know what happened after that.
There happened to be a Civil War reenactment today at Hale Farm, and the Stars and Bars was there, along with Old Glory; America's original flag. In that context, and in that context alone, the Confederate battle flag will always continue to fly with the original military-only honor for which it was intended. That flag was furled and honorably surrendered in 1865. Any use for it today, other than reenacting or remembrances, would be inappropriate, in my opinion. As all Confederate military holdings became the property of the United States at the conclusion of the War, the Confederate Battle Flag should rightfully be considered to be a historical American battle flag that flew over the heads of American soldiers. In fact, it has (unofficially) been unfurled and put into use during most of our nation's later wars by American troops, at one time or another.
That point made, as one who has fought for civil rights for most of my life, I well know what the old battle flag has become, in the eyes of too many people.
That flag may indeed be an indelible part of both of us, Jackie, but it's also a part that needs to remain historical. We may have freedom to fly it, but that freedom must come with responsibility and caring for those who were also threatened by that flag, many years after it was officially furled.
Back to the banjo...