The Observation Deck

As some of you may have read, a bartender at the West End Tavern was serving two friends
of hers. When she brought the check she wrote a non-PC comment on their bill, as a joke between friends. Someone next to them at the bar took a photo of the comment on the bill and posted it on facebook, where it took on a life all its own. And spun out of control.

Here is the statement today from the WestEnd Tavern.

Recently one of employees used an inappropriate and degrading term on a guest check that she thought was an attempt at humor with customers who were also her friends. We’re horrified that such a stupid thing happened. The West End Tavern abhors this type of slur. It isn’t funny and it hurts our friends and our customers. We welcome all of our guests. The employee has been suspended until we ensure that she and other employees understand that words hurt.

The West End Tavern has been welcoming guests for 29 years. We wouldn’t have survived this long if our customers didn’t feel welcomed and comfortable. The West End Tavern is a fun place to enjoy a delicious meal and a beer or spirits and we will continue to warmly welcome all of our guests.

I have known Parnell for nearly 40 years, and it is kind of amazing seeing a real gentlemen watch his reputation and business fall away because of a stupid joke.

In the end, the LGBT community has come back to support him and his decision, and that
is a good thing for all involved.

Nothing to see here, move along.

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The online attacks on this business are insane. This is an example of the extremes of our society. They look for any reason to hate and boycott, sometimes even before learning more of the facts. People can do stupid things with friends, and in life, people need to lighten up...

I have never been there before but now I am going to go and support them.

I'm just putting this out there - my partner and I stopped going to the West End because we felt extremely uncomfortable there. Now, we've been together for over 2 decades, so it's not like we were making out at the bar or anything. However, it wasn't the staff there that made us feel unwelcome, rather it was the "regular" customers. We found that group to be more like a clique and since we didn't fit into their mold, we were subjected to verbal harassment and uncomfortable stares. Granted, this was a few years ago but we haven't gone back since.

Amy, I have found exactly the same thing. I basically live across the street from there and tried going there once because it looked like a nice low key place. Me and my girlfriend are both transgender women, and definitely did not feel welcome. We have not been back. It certainly doesn't surprise me that a bigot like Alissa Maugen would be working there. Or even if she's not a bigot, someone who makes a "joke" out of a word that's been hurled at us in hatred a million times before. When you use that word as an insult, even against a non-LGBT person, it's basically saying that queers like us are something lesser. What if she had used the N word, would people still be ok saying "it's just a joke, relax bro"?

Iris - I have had other people come up to me in the past saying essentially that they, too have not felt comfortable as LGBTQ folks visiting the West End Tavern. I think that Parnell is going to have to do two things:

#1: Fire the bartender - keeping her on the payroll will hurt the bar in the long run

#2: Reach out to the Community by having a fundraiser or some other event where all proceeds will benefit some LGBTQ organization

It's one thing to state that your bar is accepting of everyone, and another thing to actually show it. Let's give Parnell the chance to make this right.

Iris Nejedlik wrote:Amy, I have found exactly the same thing. I basically live across the street from there and tried going there once because it looked like a nice low key place. Me and my girlfriend are both transgender women, and definitely did not feel welcome. We have not been back. It certainly doesn't surprise me that a bigot like Alissa Maugen would be working there. Or even if she's not a bigot, someone who makes a "joke" out of a word that's been hurled at us in hatred a million times before. When you use that word as an insult, even against a non-LGBT person, it's basically saying that queers like us are something lesser. What if she had used the N word, would people still be ok saying "it's just a joke, relax bro"?

Iris, Amy

I probably have no voice in this discussion, but...

What else would you have an owner do? I was there through the entire process, and I saw people
that cared more about handling things correctly, than sweeping it away.

I have known the owners for a long time, and Parnell and I have known each other for almost 30
years. He has always been in the food service business, and has always cared about how his
business is perceived by everyone in the community. To put is in a few words, the owners are good
caring people.

I got the call, and they asked what would be proper as a friend and a person int he media. I gave
them the same advice I have given the mayor, BP America, and others. Be honest and get in front
of it. That I cannot address what a proper response is, but I know some people extremely active
in the LBGT Community that would be willing to come in and hear the story.

Bill Grulich and DL Meckes came in, and sat down with the owners, spoke with the people there,
and crafted what they felt was fair and proper. Nearly half of the people there at the discussion
were for firing the girl and making a statement. But Bill and DL, and others thought that was
extreme and some compassion all the way around needs to be shown.

Again, I ask, what more can be done?

As for the ambiance, my entire life I have been in places I feel outside of, left out of, even ridiculed
from the Mayor's Ball to the Night in Paris on East185 and Ansel. Sadly ignorant people are all over.
I think if you mentioned to management your concerns they could speak with some of the regulars,
if it had any effect who knows. A human should never feel threatened, and if that happened I
would hope you would report it to management and the police.

Thanks for joining the discussion, together through discussion we can at least understand each other
better and that is always a good thing.

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Jim, I have to disagree. There seems to be a pattern, or at least a perceived one at West End. I think Parnell should fire the bartender and do some community outreach. Otherwise, the backlash could be more severe, protests, sit-ins, you name it. Jeez, this has already made the news in Las Vegas!

Parnell - GROW A SET and do something here. This is your opportunity to shine. A half-assed apology on Facebook is not enough. Otherwise, circle the wagons.

When I read this post on The Observer my first thought was what is the culture at The West End Tavern that an employee would feel comfortable using that language? After having read what Amy and Iris have posted that question persists.

Jim - to be honest, I did not feel as though my safety was in question. It was really more of feeling mocked by the patrons. Why would I ever want to sit around sipping a pint there? Definitely not a "welcoming atmosphere." Although I had no problem with the server. I'm sure the owner is a nice guy.

As for what is the best course of action? I agree with Amy's points:

Amy Martin wrote:Iris - I have had other people come up to me in the past saying essentially that they, too have not felt comfortable as LGBTQ folks visiting the West End Tavern. I think that Parnell is going to have to do two things:

#1: Fire the bartender - keeping her on the payroll will hurt the bar in the long run

#2: Reach out to the Community by having a fundraiser or some other event where all proceeds will benefit some LGBTQ organization

It's one thing to state that your bar is accepting of everyone, and another thing to actually show it. Let's give Parnell the chance to make this right.

Huffington Post also picked up on the story:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/2 ... gay-voices

im gonna have to boycott the west end tavern.

seems it would be difficult to make jokes with friends. and on top of that, you'd never know when someone will post pictures of your activities while you are there.

looks like im a special snowflake too!

Iris Nejedlik wrote:Jim - to be honest, I did not feel as though my safety was in question. It was really more of feeling mocked by the patrons. Why would I ever want to sit around sipping a pint there? Definitely not a "welcoming atmosphere." Although I had no problem with the server. I'm sure the owner is a nice guy.

As for what is the best course of action? I agree with Amy's points:

Amy Martin wrote:Iris - I have had other people come up to me in the past saying essentially that they, too have not felt comfortable as LGBTQ folks visiting the West End Tavern. I think that Parnell is going to have to do two things:

#1: Fire the bartender - keeping her on the payroll will hurt the bar in the long run

#2: Reach out to the Community by having a fundraiser or some other event where all proceeds will benefit some LGBTQ organization

It's one thing to state that your bar is accepting of everyone, and another thing to actually show it. Let's give Parnell the chance to make this right.

1) I agree with, and it would have been the easiest way to handle this.
However when the two that got the bill pleaded for a long time not to do it, it became odd. As a
single mothers the shifts lost will have their toll.

2) I would see as a complete shakedown. The WestEnd like the Lakewood Observer has
never said no to a Lakewood Charity or family in need. I see no problem with the WestEnd
working with LBGTQ groups in any way he wants to. Take him some ideas, I think you
might be surprised how open he is to working with people.

How is Parnell or the WestEnd not showing they are accepting of all?

Public execution?

You know I often see this happening with groups, movements, etc. Overreaching to prove a point.

Again, it is not my fight, I am but an Observer, but at some point we must learn to set examples
not ruin lives. How can one expect compassion without showing it?

I completely understand everything you are conveying, and there is no doubt it is a stupid joke,
and can be harmful when shown to others not in on the "joke." I understand that there is no
explanation of the "joke" that would sit well with the LBGTQ Community. Which is why they were
included in the process.

Boycott, is a time honored American tradition, but what does that serve. Where would we be if
African Americans boycotted buses, The Masters, or education?

I would say flood the place, maybe together we can get that service up a notch.

Again thanks for the time, the discussion, and putting up with someone way out of their depths.

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Jim O'Bryan wrote:You know I often see this happening with groups, movements, etc. Overreaching to prove a point.
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Jim, this particular line definitely concerns me. How is the discussion around West End Tavern "overreaching to prove a point"? What, exactly, is the point that should not be overreached? Is it that employees of an establishment should not use derogatory comments, even in jest? Is it that an owner of said establishment should not employ said people who use derogatory comments?

I am missing the "overreaching" part. The entire situation could have been avoided by JUST NOT DOING IT. I don't care if it was a "joke", and I don't care if her friends weren't offended. That is not something that employees at an establishment should ever do because, as can be seen, it could be taken as offensive by others.

I appreciate that you are friends with Parnell, but there doesn't have to be a "public execution" to make it better.

Maybe I am missing the "overreaching" part, but this is definitely offensive and not in the "can't you take a joke" category.

Matthew Lee wrote:

Jim O'Bryan wrote:You know I often see this happening with groups, movements, etc. Overreaching to prove a point.
.

Jim, this particular line definitely concerns me. How is the discussion around West End Tavern "overreaching to prove a point"? What, exactly, is the point that should not be overreached? Is it that employees of an establishment should not use derogatory comments, even in jest? Is it that an owner of said establishment should not employ said people who use derogatory comments?

I am missing the "overreaching" part. The entire situation could have been avoided by JUST NOT DOING IT. I don't care if it was a "joke", and I don't care if her friends weren't offended. That is not something that employees at an establishment should ever do because, as can be seen, it could be taken as offensive by others.

I appreciate that you are friends with Parnell, but there doesn't have to be a "public execution" to make it better.

Maybe I am missing the "overreaching" part, but this is definitely offensive and not in the "can't you take a joke" category.

Matt

I agree with everything you have said.

This discussion is not overreaching, it is overdue.

Typical JOB bad choice of words.

To me Choice 2, hit me personally, as overreaching. "We could forget faster if you raise some
money for us..." It was not a bad idea, it was not one without merit, I just personally think it
seems strong handed. Like the pay-off. However I am willing to bet they would be open to the
idea. Bill and DL are very active in the LBGTQ Community, especially the non-profit and arts
worlds. Who knows what comes of this?

Matt, you know me and this project, nothing is overreaching, I'm glad you called me on this.

The term "friend" might be misconstrued. I have known Parnell forever. I have never hung out
with Parnell except at his business or mine. 3 years ago when he ran into me, and broke my
neck, I had no problem thinking through my legal options.

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I just heard from the director of Cleveland's LGBT Center. She has a meeting with the owners of the West End Tavern on Friday. It will be interesting to see what happens from there.